Never outsource your motivation

Other people may be able to cause you discomfort or prevent you from getting what you want.

On the positive side, they can provide help, knowledge and be a role model.

One thing they should never do is be in charge of your overall motivation. This is a power you should not give to anyone, no individual, no group, no organization. Nobody can take control of your motivation unless you give them control of your motivation.

If I go for a hike and the weather is nice, I’ll say “great”.

If it unexpectedly rains, I’ll say “hm". Maybe I find a way to enjoy the rain, but even if I don’t, I won’t let it affect my inner state of well being. Maybe it stopped me from doing something I wanted to do, bummer, plan better next time, but that won’t affect my overall motivation.

Maybe my next client is going to be awesome and it will be a joy to work with them.

Maybe they’re going to be difficult, micromanagementy and unreasonable. That will make some things more difficult, but I’ll deal with them, learn from then, grow through them and I won’t let any of this affect my state of mind.

Of course, I can decide how I react to what they do, I can decide not to work with them again, I can do whatever I want really, and own the consequences of my decisions.

But whatever, however, nobody is in charge of my motivation.

You can cause me pain, but you can’t cause me despair. You can cause me joy, but my happiness is my own.

Locus of Control

Locus of control is “the degree to which people believe that they, as opposed to external forces (beyond their influence), have control over the outcome of events in their lives.”

Control not over events, but over the outcome of events. I don’t control the rain, but I control how I react to it, or how I prepare the next time I go out.

An internal locus of control is when you take ownership over the outcome of events in your life. An external locus of control is when you outsource your well being and your motivation to whoever: boss, team, country, Elon Musk, the president, “the world”.

In short, take action, influence what you can, adapt to what you can’t influence, and don’t let anyone take control of your motivation.